Monday, November 11, 2013

If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Cook a Meal My Husband Will Eat? (Or, If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?)

Everyone knows that I cannot cook a decent meal. As for the rest of my homemaking skills, let us just say that my passing grade in Home Economics as a child were a gift from a teacher who liked me but not necessarily my homemaking ability. I think she just did not want to ruin my straight-A average, but maybe she gave me the grade for effort rather than result. When my kids were growing up, if I wanted to get them to do something, I would just have to threaten to cook dinner rather than have Donnie (husband) do that. Even as youngsters, they knew how to cook and how to cook well. (Their spouses love that.) As an adult, Doah wrote a book, "Mommy Poisoned Our House Guest." The topic of all the tales in the book, some of which I have excerpted from time to time on Mahlou Musings, is my sad lack of homemaking skills and the horrendous outcome of my attempts to use them. Unfortunately, the stories are as true as they are hilarious. Why I got missed in the distribution of talents that most women have, I may never know.

Every once in a while, though, I try to remedy the situation -- to no avail. On Donnie's birthday recently, I decided to make him dinner, freeing him from that daily task. He protested, but then realized that this was going to be my gift to him so he let me try. I had purchased some fresh squid; they are easy to cook. A salad and some vegetables, rolls, desserts -- voila! a great dinner! was, following historic patterns, not edible. Donnie made himself a toasted cheese sandwich, and, as happens in such cases, I ate the inedible meal just to prove something. (Just what I am trying to prove in these cases, I am not sure.)

So, I ask, if God loves me, why can't I cook? This question parallels the kinds of questions that my catechism kids ask: if God loves me, why can't I do X, why don't I get an A grade on my project or test, why can't I have Y gift or opportunity...i.e. why is life so tough sometimes? I love the book by Lorraine Peterson that attempts to answer this question: If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open? I recommend it to all parents, catechists, and teenagers.

And then suddenly a possible answer begins forming in my mind. I cannot do things perfectly because I am human, ordinary. Not everything I want will go my way because it should not go my way because I am human, ordinary, and need to grow and learn. I need to walk in the path of the cross because it is that path that brings a different kind of life, one that leads to resurrection, one that is pleasing to God.

And so, finally, the life of Jesus comes to mind. He did not choose to live an extraordinary life, but an ordinary one, although the way he lived it was extraordinary. If he had not lived an ordinary life, we would not have the wonderful example of how we, as ordinary, human beings, can and should live. He gave us the example of how to live the way God would have us live, how to be servants to those around us, how to improve life for others, and how to bear our cross, whatever that may be, with grace and trust. He gave us the answer to the question that my catechism kids ask.

Oh, yes, now I know the answer. Why can't I get the locker open, cook a meal for my husband, receive only accolades, have no financial worries, birth only healthy children, etc., etc.? I cannot do those things precisely because God does love me! Just like God loved His own Son!


  1. ok but I'm sure you can cook just fine . Anybody can cook , some just like it more than others. Like me for instance : I hate cooking .

  2. My girls loved those books by Lorraine Peterson. Yes, God did make each of us with unique strengths and talents - - - and there have to be those without some of them to balance it all out!!!! Besides if everyone could cook and loved doing it, chefs in restaurants wouldn't have jobs!!!

  3. Don't be so sure, Jackie. My first attempt at cooking produced a spice cake that my father pronounced "not fit for the pigs." He threw it into the trough, and the pigs kicked it out into the pigpen where it eventually decayed. It went downhill from there! ;)

    Anne, good to see you. I miss "interacting" on your blog, but I understand why you made the changes.

    Misslynda, what a good point you make!

  4. happy thanksgiving to you for tomorrow!

  5. I am not a cook either my friend and it is good to know I am not alone. I am fortunate I do not have to cook the Thanksgiving dinner, :)I am very ordinary and enjoy it but I see you as extraordinary. :) Have a Happy Thanksgivng filled with family and lots of hugs and pie. :) Dee

  6. What a wonderful reminder. Thanks for posting. Similarly, I often use Peter to remind myself that even God's chosen ones led ordinary lives and made mistakes ...

  7. Well...then I sure hope you served instead of cooked at the community dinner on Thanksgiving for the sake of those who attended ;)

    Just teasing. I missed the cooking talent line, too. The Lord knew he had to leave some of us to scrub the pans I guess (lol).

  8. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, Michele.

    Dee, glad I am not the only one without those cooking talents. I think I am probably a member of your "ordinary" club.

    So they did, Michael.

    Mary, I cleaned pots and pans. I cannot make a mess out of that, anyway.